By: Casey Harding-Brown

It hit me one day, somewhat out of the blue as I was in the grocery store shopping for meat. I refused to put anything into my cart that had added hormones or wasn’t labeled “organic.” I laughed at myself realizing the extreme hypocrisy I had been living in. I wouldn’t eat anything with added hormones (whether it was pumped directly into the animal or as a byproduct of their food) but I was perfectly, unquestionably, willing to pop my hormonal birth control into my mouth and swallow it every day (more or less) for the last FIFTEEN years.

I first went on birth control to help with ever-so-fun pubescent acne issues. I was not sexually active but figured I may as well kill two birds with one stone and be prepared for when that day came.

I don’t remember experiencing any hurdles or roadblocks when it came to obtaining birth control from my Doctor.

That’s not to say I don’t believe birth control should be readily available and accessible to any person who wants it (because I very much DO believe that) but at the same time I feel that there should be a due diligence that comes with prescribing a drug that can have massive effects on the mind and body. Surely my Doctor went over the side effects but I imagine it was somewhat like the old commercials that would say it at such a fast speed (before it became illegal) that you could not make out what they said or really take in the depth of potential impacts. I do recall a time where I asked to switch to a birth control that had more estrogen in the hopes that it would make my A-cup breasts bigger, to which my Doctor replied that she could not prescribe me something because I wanted bigger breasts, but if I said it was because I did not see any improvement on my acne, she would be able to switch me to a different, higher estrogen pill. So, I said what needed to be said and BOOM, I was 17 and on my way to birth control pill number two, with the hopes of bigger tata’s.

To be honest, I can’t remember all the different combination pills I took over time (which, as I see the commercials saying “If you were affected by X, Y, or Z birth control you may be entitled to...”I wish I had a better working memory) but my skin never really saw a significant improvement. In fact, I struggled with acne well into my late 20’s and sometimes still do, although it is few and far between now. I also experienced depression on and off throughout my teens and 20’s. I have no idea if birth control helped or contributed to these issues and for me, that was reason in and of itself to get off to see how I would feel.

I would hear stories of other women telling me how birth control “made them crazy” or affected their weight and I realized I had zero idea of how it impacted me because I had been on it so long I really had no baseline.

My most recent “baseline” was when I was 15 years old, which, I think most can agree that being in your peak teenage years is not a very sturdy baseline to go off of anyway. So, I decided to cut the cord and see what the au naturale life was all about! If I could pay for a share of a local farm to get the best quality meat, dairy and eggs delivered to me (shoutout Ebert Farms!), then I could stop pumping my own body with hormones.

I was terrified. The last time I went “off” birth control I was a sophomore in college and it was by mistake. I had not picked up my new pack from the pharmacy in time and I missed the window where it’s effective. The protocol is to wait until your next period and start again. So, that’s exactly what I did and I did not even think twice about the repercussions of stopping a medication that I had used daily for the last 4 years. I remember being in the darkest depression of my life, having such intense up and down mood swings that I considered going to see a professional to be tested for manic depressive disorder and being extremely irritable with bursts of anger. Mind you, I was 19 years old, partying almost everyday and was in a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who was coincidentally living with me for 3 of the 4 weeks of this month from hell. Suffice to say, I was not in the best headspace. It wasn’t until months later that I thought, “Huh, maybe some of that was from going off my birth control out of the blue.” Fast forward a decade and those memories still felt so fresh, I could almost feel the suicidal ideations creeping into my mind. I was (and still am) in the most amazing, loving, healthy relationship with someone I cared for deeply.

I thought to myself, “What if I fuck it all up by being a crazy bitch to him for absolutely no reason (besides raging, imbalanced hormones, which now that I think of it, is a pretty valid reason)?”

I actually made my boyfriend promise me he wouldn’t break up with me no matter how unbecoming and emotional I became, which is a promise he followed through on.

Then began the research. I read articles, followed social media pages dedicated to the knowledge of balancing hormones, talked to my doctor, and looked up other birth control methods (as I was not ready to have a kid yet). Another concern I had was my fertility. Doctors will swear up and down that there is no effect on your fertility with birth control and that very well may be true, but I just didn’t feel good about the fact that I had not had a real period since I was 15. I bled every month, but during my research I found out that was just a “withdrawal” bleeding and not a true period. And you cannot get your fertility tested while you’re on hormonal birth control. My Doctor reassured me I would be fine as I was young (30), in good health and had great bloodwork year after year but there would still not be a way for me to test that unless I was off the pill. So I decided that December would be my last month of taking the pill and I’d be taking the whole “New Year, New Me” to a new level.

**Let me preface this by saying that every body is different and there is no one size fits all method but I do want to share the actions I took that helped me recalibrate my body after coming off the pill.**

Steps I took months before stopping the pill:

Nutrition, adaptogens and supplements: I get my blood work done every year and I knew I was deficient in B12 and D vitamins, a common side effect from birth control. These two can heavily affect your mood if they are too low. The pill can also cause depletions in vitamin c, zinc, magnesium and selenium so I made sure I was eating foods rich in these vitamins and minerals (such as eggs, meat, seafood, oysters, leafy greens, nuts and seeds, raw dairy) as well as taking my supplemental B12 and D vitamins. I added Love Wellness’ “Mood Pills” into my supplement routine as well which contains B6, GABA, organic St. John’s Wort and chasteberry which are known to help with mood regulation and PMS symptoms. In addition, I started adding Your Super “Moon Balancing” powder mix into my smoothies which contains Beetroot, Baobab, Maca, Shatavari, Lucuma, and Hibiscus, all of which are supposed to help balance your hormones. Keeping stress levels low is crucial while transitioning off the pill and since mushrooms (psychedelic and regular) and adaptogens are all the rage, I leaned in and started drinking a nightly adaptogen full “hot cocoa” with Your Super “Magic Mushroom Mix”. According to UCLA Health, “Adaptogens are herbs, roots and other plant substances (like mushrooms) that help our bodies manage stress and restore balance after a stressful situation.”

Steps I took after stopping the pill:

Prioritized sleep: Along with keeping up with all the nutrition and supplements above, I made sure my sleep was a priority. Women operate differently than men and we need more sleep than them for proper hormone regulation. I mandated that I get a minimum of 7.5 hours of sleep but was averaging closer to 8-9 and it felt amazing.

Removed HITT from my workout routine: I love HITT workouts due to their ability to get me in and out of the gym in less than 30 minutes and for the results I see, BUT when coming off the pill, keeping your cortisol levels low will help immensely and HITT workouts put stress on the body that can raise your cortisol. I still worked out 3-5 times a week as working out itself helps reduce stress but I stuck with weight lifting, yoga and walks. Now that I’ve been off the pill for 8 months and feel fully regulated again, I have added them back to my weekly regime.

Minimized my alcohol intake: We all know too much alcohol can mess with your sleep, hormones, and attribute to anxiety and depression so I took a big step back from it and only indulged when I was really feeling it. I mean, going to Hawaii for a week and not drinking one pina colada a day seems like insanity to me.

Seed cycling: This is more of a “woo-woo” practice with not a whole lot of scientific backing but it was easy as well as healthy so I figured I had nothing to lose. Seed cycling entails eating pumpkin and flax seeds during the follicular part of your cycle (the first half) then switching to sesame and sunflower seeds for the luteal (second half, post ovulation) part of your cycle. My Mom was kind enough to buy the seeds in bulk and grind them into a powder so I could easily throw it into smoothies, baked goods etc. For more information on seed cycling click here to read a detailed article by Nourished by Nutrition.

Learned about and tracked my cycle: Before going off the pill, I honestly knew very little about the woman’s menstrual cycle. I knew we had a period and some very inconvenient symptoms that came before and during that. I started using Natural Cycles, the only au naturale FDA approved birth control that works by taking your body temperature everyday to detect differences in your cycle and give you data on what phase you’re in. Until using Natural Cycles I didn’t even know that the “period” I was experiencing every month when I took my placebo pills was actually called “withdrawal bleeding” and not considered a real period at all! I knew very little about the four phases of the cycle: follicular, ovulation, luteal and menstrual and the difference they bring in hormones, energy levels and potential moods. Learning more about each one helped guide me on when I should commit to social plans, rigorous workouts and goal achieving vs when I should slow down, incorporate more down time and indulge in relaxing workouts like yoga and walking. It also informed on when I should incorporate certain types of foods as well based on what the body needs more of during that time.

Put a focus on gut health: One of my biggest fears was that my acne would flare up and be worse than ever. While acne can occur from topical reasons, a lot of it comes from the inside and is signs of inflammation in the body. I put a huge focus on my gut health and making sure I had a healthy microbiome. I started every morning with a bone broth with fresh squeezed lemon, cayenne and turmeric powder. I also switched from cutting out most dairy (due to my acne) and moving towards raw (unpasteurized) dairy. You can find raw cheese in most grocery stores (a lot of blues, parmesan, and swiss cheeses are raw) and raw milk is sold in some states but banned from others. If you live in a state where sale of raw milk is illegal and you’re interested in obtaining it, try finding a local farm where you can buy into a type of membership program. I get fresh milk, eggs, cheese and yogurt delivered weekly from Ebert Farm which is local to the Denver metro area.

Gave myself grace: I knew no matter how much I prepared and did everything I found in my research, I knew there were going to be ups and downs and made space to give myself grace when I was not feeling like my normal self. I reminded myself of the truth of impermanence and took it one day at a time.

My results:

I was pleasantly surprised to see that I re-regulated very quickly. I got my first real period 4 weeks after stopping the pill and all my fears of being completely emotionally unstable with a face full of acne dissipated as the months went on. I did this during the winter months which is already a tough time for me as I am a creature of the sun and warm weather and live in Denver (which albeit is probably the nicest “real” winter you can get, but I still do not feel 100% myself until I can be rocking a crop top and getting 1 hour of direct, warm, sunlight everyday) so there were definitely some down days. Overall though, the transition went smoothly and I am happy that I am now living a hormone free life, just like my dairy cows. My hope in writing this is that it is real, informative and encouraging to those who are considering going off hormonal birth control.